Last week I was reminded that sometimes God's plan doesn't look like mine. I've been learning that lesson over the past few years (see the Walking by Faith posts here) and He has been doing great things in my life. I thought I was going to be posting here that He had finally answered our prayers for a baby. After 3 positive pregnancy tests we were thrilled! But on Valentine's day we miscarried. That was less than thrilling. That was awful. My body hurt, my heart hurt, and even worse - my husband hurt.
But here's the thing about losing our baby: it was not ours to lose. That baby was a gift from God. Never getting to hold and hug it doesn't mean that the gift was lost. The great gift that we received is the reminder that it is easy to praise God when things are going the way I want them to. It is a little more difficult to praise God when things just aren't going, but praising God when it looks like life on this earth absolutely stinks... that's how you know He has done great things in you. I am pretty sure the first 6 weeks of this new year has brought more drama and trauma than the last 30-ish years combined, and it would be so easy to crawl under the covers and wail that the Lord has abandoned me. But the truth is just the opposite; He has been here with me through it all, to comfort and guide me. He has a plan for us, He has a plan for me, and it's a good thing it doesn't look like mine. After all, I can't see the big picture, but I know it is written in His book.
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