I have said many (many) things as a parent I would like to believe I would not have otherwise said. I keep thinking I should write those things down somewhere so Princess Pea Pod and I can share a lark over it someday, but I don't think I'd ever accomplish anything if I stopped every time I had an "I never thought I'd say THAT" moment. I suspect you know exactly what I mean. And, of course, random passers-by have been privy to some pretty interesting conversations. How many times have I seen a stranger chuckle over a tidbit of conversation with our principessa? (Hint: The answer is similar to the answer one gets when asking Mr. Owl how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop.)
So. The window. Hot Daddy was pretty sure the neighbors were going to be calling the nice young men in the clean white coats to come and take me away tonight. Princess Pea Pod is not a fan of the flavor of her immune booster. However, the combination of chiropractic care, essential oils and the immune booster has helped her allergies greatly. We did a year of allergy shots and don't relish the idea of going through that again. Therefore, it's immune booster or bust! I have been known to silly it up to get her to relax and chew them up quickly. Tonight's cast was a lively pair of faux Brits, 'Ippo and Elly. (Yes. Hippo and elephant.) They were spurred into action by Hot Daddy's reminder that a medicine refused orally must sometimes be delivered via suppository. I did not realize Hot Daddy had opened the window shortly after he made that comment and walked away, so the neighbors got to hear the following conversation quite loudly. In a terrible British accent.
'Ippo: I say, old pal, I do 'ope she chooses to chew us up!
Elly: I'd much rather go in the right way.
'Ippo: Is true! I'd much rather go in 'er mouth than in 'er nose.
Elly: And I'd rather go in 'er ear than in 'er rear!
(Princess Pea Pod is just about rolling by now. There may have been a rather unladylike snort from stage left.)
Elly: And I'd rather go in 'er mouth than in 'er backsies!
Hot Daddy: I hope the neighbors can't hear this through the window. They'll be calling the mental institution on you.
(I completely missed the implication that the window was standing open.)
'Ippo: Oh please! I'd rather 'ave 'er chew me up than have to go up the backsies!
(Insert guffaws and snorts. Hot Daddy says something else about the neighbors hearing. I still don't get it.)
Several minutes later, Princess Pea Pod has laughed herself silly and finally chewed her immune booster. I have streaks of makeup down my face. We're finally breathing normally again and then I realize... the window was open the entire time.
If the nice young men in the clean white coats come to take me away, I suppose I'll probably just thank them for offering a bit of peace and quiet!
