Instant Gratification

Has anyone else noticed that our on-demand society has created a "me now" culture? I recognize it most often in Princess Pea Pod and tend to respond by digging in my heels, but in the peace and quiet of some time somewhere I realized that I have become the same way. I recognize it most when I turn on the tv. We don't watch much tv. As a matter of fact, we cancelled our satellite service and use only Netflix or other (on demand) providers. We don't watch a series and wait week to week, or even between seasons, building anticipation and savoring what we've just seen. We do season marathons. Episodes back-to-back-to-back until they've all been seen. And that's not even my point...

Several years ago we went through a personal finance management class, and one of the points that really hit home for me is that our generation sees what everyone else has and tends to think we should have the same things without effort. We fail to respect that our parents have worked hard to get where they are financially, that they put in those growth years, and that they probably didn't begin their adult lives in the family-sized homes we knew. Now we are raising the next generation. What will we teach them about work, about managing finances, about "things?"

This led to a shocking realization about marriage... I was recently talking to a friend who is having some marital "growing pains." We look at our parents' marriages and think "I do" means everything is chocolates and roses. I remember being a young bride, never thinking there might be a moment of disagreement with my as-perfect-as-humanly-possible groom. We would always see eye to eye and neither of us would ever, even accidentally, hurt our beloved's feelings. Reality check: marriage is two INDIVIDUALS who become one. We love and adore each other, but we didn't pledge to become clones of each other. And here's the kicker... it takes patience, it takes grace, and it takes a healthy dose of growth together to learn how to live and love together. We enjoy being together, but sometimes we don't want to do the same thing. Last night he wanted to watch Star Trek and I wanted to be near him, so I read. Sure, a few years ago my feelings would have been hurt that he didn't want to do the same thing, but I've learned to savor what we share even in our differences. And to consider everything we do together. Even the mundane chore of the grocery store is so much more enjoyable when he volunteers to go with me to pick up a few things. He doesn't have to go, but he has learned to consider the little things.

I learned. He learned. It didn't happen on our wedding day. It didn't happen on our first anniversary. It didn't happen the day Princess Pea Pod was born. He didn't do all the work, and he didn't expect me to. I am not the only one who gives grace or exercises patience, and I appreciate the *many* times he does. Loving marriages don't happen overnight and they never stop growing. We never stop learning. Neither did those who came before us. This is what we need to teach those who come after us.